Casey, be honest with me.
Are my pregnancy hormones making me seem bitchy?
What?!
Uh, they're definitely making you glow, that's for sure.
- Wait. Are you being evasive? - Am I?
Casey, am I acting bitchy or not?
No.
(Bell dings)
Wow!
What did you do? It's a new recipe.
I remember how excited you were
last time I cooked something fancy.
I was so excited.
(Bell dings)
So I made pork a l'orange. It's supposed to be with duck,
but that sounded wrong to me. Taste it.
(Mouth full) The flavors really just work.
(Bell dings)
It's different, right?
Yes! This is the different-est thing you've ever made.
So, you know, pork seems a little... raw.
Are you, uh, sure you cooked it to the right temperature?
Yeah. I know what temperature to cook pork to.
(Bell dings)
Well, it's Tuesday night, our foolin' around night.
It sure is. I have been looking forward to this all day.
(Bell dings)
But not as much as I have.
(Bell dings)
I like it when you do that.
(Bell dings)
Well... I know what I'm doing.
(Bell dings)
God, you're sexy.
(Bell dings)
I know.
Did you just fall asleep?
(Scoffs) No.
(Bell dings)
(Man) ♪ I don't know where I'd be ♪
♪ without someone to see ♪
♪ this thing through ♪
♪ I am such a mess ♪
Sync by mczolly Corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com
My parents are coming by.
They said they wanted to give us our baby present early.
I bet it's that camera I've been dropping hints about for weeks.
Oh, that would be awesome. I really wanna document
this special time in our lives... your belly,
the baby coming out, his new room.
I'm sorry. What was that middle thing?
The baby coming out?
Oh, yeah. I'm gonna take video all up in there.
Yeah. No, no, no. You will not be doing any filming
south of the equator, okay?
You will be staying up here at all times.
All right. Seems a little weird to have somebody else film it,
but okay. (Knock on door)
Hey, Joel and Vicky.
Hi. Hi.
Okay, we have brought something for little Victor.
Mom, I told you that don't normally name a baby boy
after his grandmother.
What if he comes out looking just like me?
Yeah, then we got bigger fish.
Well, thanks for the present.
Can't wait to learn how to use it.
Learn how to use it? It's a book.
Honey, he's from Vermont.
To him, a book is probably just something
you shove under an outhouse to keep it level.
Oh! "The Little Brown Puppy." (Laughs)
Oh, I loved this book. I used to read it when I was a kid.
I haven't seen this in 20 years.
Oh, I remember the first book I ever read.
Started with a picture of a stereo all in pieces.
At the end, the stereo was all put together.
Even though I knew it was coming,
the ending always surprised me.
Now this book has been in our family for forever.
I used to read it as a child, and I am giving it to my child
to read to her child.
Aw. (Joel) Aw.
I love traditions like that,
where you don't have to buy anything new.
Hey, everyone. I have some news.
(Door closes) At the law firm today,
I heard some very exciting scuttlebuzz...
Well, you didn't hear scuttlebuzz, but go ahead.
What?
Well, I'm just saying "scuttlebuzz" isn't a word.
You might have heard buzz or scuttle.
Are you seriously doing this when I'm about to tell everyone
I'm gonna be made a partner?
Oh, my God! Oh, my God. (Gasps)
That's the scuttlebuzz.
They're gonna be naming three new partners at my firm,
and Boyd Woznack, who's on the voting committee, told me
I am gonna be one of them.
- That is great! - Maddie, congratulations!
Honey, we are so proud of you.
Aw, it's nice to see you bring honor back to the Putney name.
It reminds me of my early days as a money manager,
before what I like to call my... "financial missteps."
Back then, when people said the word "Putney,"
it wasn't immediately followed
by "that son of a bitch drained my savings. Get him!"
Oh, my God! That wasn't a book. It was a stereo manual!
Wait. I don't understand. I'm not being made partner?
I write more wills than any lawyer here.
I'm sorry, and... and brace yourself.
It gets worse. What?
Because of the economy, the firm is hemorrhaging money.
We had to make some tough decisions,
and, uh... We're letting you go.
(Gasps) But Boyd Woznack told me I was gonna be partner.
Yeah. He's gone, too.
He was spreading too much false scuttlebuzz.
Oh, I can't believe this. I've been here for eight years.
I've devoted my life to this company.
I don't know what to say.
People just haven't been dying as much as we need them to.
I know it's been slow, but people are gonna start
dying again, Neil. I know they are.
I wish there were something I could do.
All these new medicines and technological advances,
and nobody smokes anymore. It is killing us!
(Fist slams desk)
Well, but it'll pick up...
a new disease, tainted food, something.
(Gasps) How about a natural disaster?
You're gonna need people here if there's a natural disaster.
Well, look, um, a big earthquake hits New York,
you'll be the first one I call.
I mean, uh, after my family, of course.
Can we just give it another week?
These things comes in bunches, Neil.
When I was 12, my aunt, a kid down the street,
and my cat died. Deaths are coming, Neil! I can feel it!
We can only hope.
Check it out! That book that your parents gave us...
I thought I'd look online, see if it's worth anything.
You are never gonna believe how much it's going for.
- Guess how much. - $1,000?
No. What do you always do that? You always go super high,
and then no matter what I say, it won't be impressive.
Aw. Sorry, baby. Ask me again.
Guess how much the book is worth.
50 cents?
No! $300! 50 cents.
And our copy's in great condition.
We should sell it and use the money to get the camera we want.
Oh, no, we can't sell that book.
It's been in my family for generations.
It's like an heirloom or whatever.
Oh. Okay. I totally understand. We won't sell it.
No, no, wait. Don't give up. Try to convince me.
Yeah, I want to sell the book.
I just didn't wanna feel bad about it.
Uh, it's okay. We'll just buy the camera with our own money.
All right, Casey. You win, okay?
We'll sell the book. Jeez!
Whoa! Howdy, partner! (Imitates gunshot)
(Laughs) Get it? It's an old west phrase,
but here I'm using it to refer to your new...
I got fired.
You got fired?! What? Why?
Ugh. They downsized the whole probate department.
They said people aren't dying as much as they used to.
What?!
Three people died in my hotel just this past week.
Thank you!
Anyway, it doesn't matter because I turned it around.
I kept my job by telling them I do not accept my firing.
Is that how that works?
(Laughs) Well, it worked today.
I appreciate everything you're trying to do here,
Neil, with firing me,
but unfortunately, at this time, I just can't accept it,
and I do apologize for that. But...
Neil, I've thought long and hard about this.
I'm sorry, but my decision is final.
See you tomorrow. (Door closes)
I'm... not sure that means you still have a job.
No, I do. No, no.
They were just testing me to see how much
I wanna be partner. It doesn't sound like a test.
Well, to be fair, you're not very good at knowing
when you're being tested.
Like... like right now?
Yep.
Did I fail again? Yep.
Anybody need a drink? Yeah. I'd love another glass.
That was a rhetorical question, junior. One drink per person.
This isn't Maddie and Ben's.
Oh! Here's the lady of the hour.
Oh! There's the new partner! (Imitates gunshots)
Mine were better.
(Clears throat) How did it go today?
They escorted me out of the office.
It wasn't a test. I know, baby.
Oh, I wish it was a test. I'm really good at tests.
You gonna tell your parents?
No. I can't. They were so proud of me. I would kill me to see
that look of disappointment on their faces.
Well, yeah. You get used to that.
Hey, dinner, will be ready in five minutes.
Come on, Joel. Help me with the salad.
(Mia) All right.
So what's going on over here? What's with all the whispering?
Is this about Casey's shirt?
'Cause it's not like Ben always wears the right thing.
Am I the only one who remembers the beret?
They didn't make me partner, Mia. They fired me.
What? Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Oh, it's okay.
I didn't accept it.
Oh, no. Is this like
how you didn't accept that b-minus in geometry?
That grade is still working its way through the appeals process.
You can't tell mom and dad I got fired.
Aren't they gonna find out eventually?
No, no, because I have a plan. I'm gonna call everyone I know
and e-mail my resumé to every firm in the city.
I'll get a new job and tell mom and dad I quit
because I got a better position.
All right, so speaking of secret plans,
we have something that you cannot tell mom and dad.
Okay, you know that book that we read as kids...
- "The Little Brown Puppy"? - (Gasps) I love that book.
Yeah. Well, we found out it's worth a lot of money,
and we are currently selling it online. (Chuckles)
If you can't find a job and you need money,
just grab a couple books from here and sell 'em online.
I already hid two in the back of my shirt, see?
I am so excited to go out and tackle the world today.
I bet losing my job
is gonna be the best thing that ever happened to me.
(Keys clatter)
I didn't find a job, and a bird crapped on me.
I used to be a lawyer!
(Sobbing)
You know what I realized last night
at 4:30 in the morning when I was cleaning the bathroom
again for no reason? It is all up here.
If you visualize yourself getting a job, you will get one!
Hey, honey. (TV playing indistinctly)
Look, there aren't any jobs.
It's been over a week. I've called everyone,
e-mailed resumés to every firm in the city.
No one's interested.
Apparently word got out that I didn't accept my firing,
and now I'm considered a "risky hire."
Well, o-okay, but we can't give up, can we?
Don't start with that "we" crap, Ben.
You don't know what it's like out there.
You have a job... If you wanna call it that.
Hey, say what you want about me, but leave the hotel out of this.
I used to have everything, and then just like that, gone.
Have... you been watching TV all day?
Yes. (Laughs) There are a lot of great shows on during the day.
I had no idea. Before, I saw this really funny one
about an acne cream. Now I'm watching one about a juicer.
It's more of a drama. (Crunching)
All right. Hey, how about we get you into the shower?
No. I'm good.
I wanna see what happens when they put the whole apple
in the juice machine. It's gonna clog for sure. (Telephone rings)
- (Sighs) Ben Coles. - It didn't! It didn't clog!
(Lowered voice) Hey, hey. It's for you. It's a law firm.
Freeman and Gant? I've heard of them.
Oh, my God.
This is Maddie Putney.
An interview? Now? (Gasps)
I can't come right now.
I've been drinking, and I'm covered in cheese balls.
(Whispers) You don't have to say that. They can't see you.
You can't see me. I'll come right over.
Oh, my God. You missed it!
Today was the last day of the auction.
There was a bidding war...
people who are desperate for this book!
Really?
I know, I know. It's crazy. The winner's coming by
to pick up the book. Guess how much it sold for.
$1,000?
Damn it!
No! $350.
Really? Still, that's crazy.
I mean, it's just a sweet little book about a dog.
I had no idea. This book must be amazing.
"'Little Brown Puppy' by Scooter McGill."
Pretty good so far.
"The little brown puppy was always causing trouble.
He wasn't allowed to mix with the good white dogs."
Huh.
Wow.
Is it just me, or is this book crazy racist?
What? No, it's a book about puppies that...
Whoa.
- Oh, my God. - (Whispers) Yeah.
This is horrible.
Shame on you, Scooter McGill!
Oh, I had no idea!
It's like the first time you realize
the California raisins used to be grapes.
I cannot believe that my parents let me read this book.
I was an impressionable child.
Do you think this book shaped me and I didn't even know it?
(Gasps) Is this why I don't like "The Wire"?
Who are all the people who wanted to buy this book?
What kind of monster is coming over here?!
Stereo manual doesn't look so bad now, does it?
So your resumé is very impressive.
Oh.
What would you say is your biggest weakness?
Hmm. Great question, Miles.
My biggest weakness is probably that I don't have a weakness.
Um... okay. A little hard to believe, but... okay.
How much experience do you have in other aspects of the law?
Well, my specialty is probate, but I've always been interested
in family law, contract law, litigation.
I can do anything. The law is my life.
I have a t-shirt that says that. I like that.
Really? You can have it. It's yours. No. That's gross.
I'll get you a new one.
You don't want a shirt with my old sweat stains on it.
Unless you do, then that's weird, but fine.
My boyfriend put on my bra once. I don't judge.
Maybe your weakness is you don't know when to stop talking.
Well, I wouldn't call collecting
women's sweat-stained shirts a strength, Miles.
I like you.
Why don't you come in tomorrow morning, 9:00 A.M.?
We'll discuss salary then. I got the job?
Mm-hmm. Oh, my God! Thank you.
I knew this would happen. I visualized it in my head
while I cried in front of the mirror.
But everyone's cried in front of the mirror, right, Miles?
Stop talking. Okay.
(Knock on door)
Ohh! It's the racists. Oh, no. It's just my mom and dad. (Door squeaks)
Well...
Okay, we broke down and got you the camera,
so you can stop hinting all the time.
Ah, okay. Well, it's a little banged up,
and... there are pictures of strangers on here.
Yes, it is the floor model, but it still works.
Please, I don't see why floor models get such a bad rap.
So a bunch of weird people touched it.
Didn't stop me from marrying your mother.
Uh...
Okay, good, well, I'm glad you guys are here,
because you know that children's book that you gave me last week?
- It's really racist. - No, it's not.
It is a book about puppies. Puppies can't be racist.
Uh, I don't know about that.
Growing up, I had a dog, and anytime an Eskimo came by,
oh! (Laughs) Good luck, buddy.
(Mia) Look, mom.
Oh.
Oh, my.
Ah.
Okay, you're right. This book is terrible.
Why did my mother let me read that?
Is this book the reason I didn't like "Sanford and Son"?
Okay, well, don't worry. We're getting rid of it.
We put it up for sale online. Someone's coming
to pick it up right now. What? You can't sell that.
Why? Because it's been in our family for generations?
Look, you can't rid of something
just because it's offensive and old-fashioned.
I still keep your mom around. Come on!
You gotta give it to me for that one! (laughs)
Sorry, Vicky, but he nailed that.
(Knock on door)
Oh, my God. It's the racists.
Hi. I'm here for the book.
(Car door closes, vehicle departs) Oh. Not what I was expecting. Hi, sweetie.
You know what? You're pretty. You don't need to read.
Hi. Sorry. I was paying the cabbie.
I'm Francine. This is my daughter Katie,
and we're here to buy "The Little Brown Puppy."
Oh, come on in. (Chuckles nervously)
Um... so can I ask you why you want this book?
Oh, well, I read it when I was a little girl,
and I want my daughter to read it now.
Oh, yeah. Have you read it recently?
Oh, not in... gosh... 25 years.
Uh, Francine, uh, first of all, you should know
that I was in the same place you are.
Um, I read this book as a kid, and I thought it was great,
but I read it today for the first since then,
and, uh... it's really racist.
Oh, no, it's not. It is.
Hmm. Oh.
Oh, my God.
(Gasps) Oh, this is disgusting.
Why would my parents let me read this?
Is this why I didn't like Urkel?
(All) No.
Well, what are we gonna do with it now?
Can't sell it, can't read it, can't give it away.
We could send it to Casey's family to prop up their outhouse.
Right, 'cause my family's the one
who comes out of this looking bad.
(Door opens)
(Door closes) Hey, guys. I have big news. I left my law firm.
I thought they made you a partner.
No, that turned out not to be true.
So I left, head held high, dignity intact,
and just got a different, even better position.
Where?
At a firm called Freeman and Gant.
- The bus bench people? - What?
Freeman and Gant... they have ads on all the bus stop benches.
"Call Freeman and Gant if you get in an accident."
They're ambulance chasers?
Of course! That's how I knew them.
You couldn't remember that before my interview?
Well, to be fair, I was getting cheese ball powder
off you with a keyboard vacuum.
Okay, I'm confused.
Why would you leave a great firm like Braverman
to work for those people?
I was let go from my old job. They downsized
the probate group, and Freeman and Gant
was the only firm willing to hire me.
Why didn't you tell us? We had that whole dinner.
We even sprung for a side salad.
I didn't want to disappoint you. You were so proud of me.
I mean, I'm the daughter who's a success in the business world.
(Coughing) On my own company.
Hey, you could never disappoint us.
We're proud of you because of who are,
not because of what job you have.
You turned into a wonderful person,
even though we gave you racist books to read.
Look, and I don't care where you work.
Wherever it is, I'm sure you will be the best lawyer there.
So what if it's not the perfect job?
You work there for a few months
while you try to find a better one.
No, you're right! No one will ever know I worked there.
(Horn honks)
Ooh, look, Casey, an online relationship quiz.
"How well do you know your mate?"
(Giggles) Okay, "where was your mate born?"
- That's easy. Vermont. - Uh, Texas.
Really? Okay.
"What was their first pet?"
Aw, you told me that adorable story about your pet goat...
Frog.
- Named Richard. - Pete.
You know, these tests are really stupid.
- We should just... - Make out?
Aw, see? You know the answers to all the important questions.
Yes.
Okay, first question... "if your partner was a type of food,
what kind of food would they be?"
Grape.
Haven't even read you the choices. (Offs)
Am I... cake...
Strawberry... Mmm!
Or... toast?
Cake.
You're doing that just to hurt me.
I am a strawberry, and you know it.
You know what?
I'm going back to grape. You're a grape.
I am not taking these quizzes with you anymore.
Typical grape.
Do you like shady hillsides or babbling brooks?
Shady hillsides.
Me, too.
Do you prefer a cute and cozy view
or sprawling but beautiful?
Cute and cozy.
Well, I couldn't agree more.
Do you like to be close to the city or out in the country?
(Both) Country.
Yeah. Okay, let's see what we've got here.
Hey, I think we did pretty well.
Yep. Whispering pines cemetery is the one for us.
Sounds lovely.
And now we play the waiting game.
Sync by mczolly Corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com